Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Brief Glimpse of Sweet Spot

“Cute place.”

“Thanks, I really love it here. There is an amazing view of the lighthouse and the beach. That drew me more than anything did. Let me give you the grand tour, not that you could get lost or anything.” She laughed, took his hand and led him through the house. The walls were all white with decor and furnishings adding the splashes of color and personality. The only room whose walls were not white was Willa's bedroom. It was at this point Tate realized it was the only bedroom in the house and suddenly the color of the walls seemed irrelevant.

"So just the one bedroom?" he quietly asked.

Willa's cheeks flushed a little and she tentatively smiled. "Yes, just the one."


  1. Please don't stop. I love this. I would pay money to read this. I love Tate and Willa. And I love the white walls. Not that it means anything coming from someone who isn't a writer but I am a consumer.

  2. Gorgeous. Even from such a brief snippet it's obvious that the characters and the relationship between them are very well-developed. I'm intrigued :)

    The one thing I might suggest is a dash instead of a comma in the last sentence of Willa's first line of dialogue. Not that the comma is wrong, but the dash might give the line a little more oomph. "Let me give you the grand tour--not that you can get lost or anything."

    (Of course, I abuse dashes like nothing else, so maybe don't listen to me XD)

  3. Beth, thank you! These two are great characters and they are growing daily. I love them as well.

  4. Renee, that makes me feel great knowing that they are well developed. This scene is early in their relationship. Since I haven't revealed much about them, knowing that their connection comes through like that is awesome!

    Good point on the dash. It does emphasize the line. I never know when a dash works, a comma works, or an ellipsis.


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